


Art Angels (je comprends, je l'ai dit, c'est la vie)

by renjunsgf



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dancer Na Jaemin, Depression, Enemies to Lovers, Kinda, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, They're adults, They're oblivious, ex trainee lee jeno, idol huang renjun, jaemin is too good for his own good, not exactly specified, renjun and jeno trained together, theyre all like 21 or 22
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28132863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjunsgf/pseuds/renjunsgf
Summary: Pouring everything into creative work requires an open heart and a wild mind. They know this well. And an open, big heart is undoubtedly vulnerable. They learn that the hard way.This is a story about falling in love and hating people; about art and life; happiness and disappointment but, above all, a story about breaking yourself and stitching your heart and soul back together with the help of the right people.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. The Beginning

Renjun had achieved his dreams, and for that he’d be eternally grateful. But being an overworked artist, promised many things but given none, was taking a toll on him. He could feel his own frustration through his work, his music getting progressively more aggressive and less enjoyable, at least to him. Renjun was falling out of love with music, and he had no idea what to do about it.

Jeno had given up on his dreams long ago, after having trained in a big company for almost 10 years and achieving nothing. At the time, the realization that he had wasted half of his life was too great and crushing, and he found comfort only in his house, distancing himself from everything and everyone. With no job, no career, no money, barely a high school diploma in hand, Jeno moved out of the house per his parents request and swore he’d create a name for himself on his own.

Jaemin had always prided himself in his easy going, friendly nature. He made friends easily and quickly, genuinely enjoying people’s company and presence. But everything changed after being accepted into university. After moving out of the city he grew up in, alone and unsure about his major, Jaemin found himself growing anxious of things around him, closing himself off to people and stressing over school all the time. In fear of disappointing his family and his newfound (shitty) colleagues, he gets stuck in a cycle of hating himself for staying and still being too scared to do anything about it.

This is a story about falling in love and hating people; about art and life; happiness and disappointment but, above all, a story about breaking yourself and stitching your heart and soul back together with the help of the right people.


	2. California

Renjun let the white sugar cube drop into his mug before swirling it thoroughly with a small spoon. He watched it disappear quietly, unconsciously tuning out the loud voices from his groupmates that could be heard from the kitchen.

This was normal to him. Getting up late in the mornings, usually around 11am or 12pm, dragging his body out of bed and into the kitchen to make himself some coffee, and immediately run back to the safety of his bedsheets. He needed the peaceful atmosphere to be able to function properly for the rest of the day. What wasn’t normal to him though, were the loud banging noises on his bedroom door, startling him.

He jumped a bit in surprise, spilling a few drops of hot coffee on his bed during the process. Before he could feel bad about it, the noise stopped. Whoever was outside of his door didn’t bother to wait for a reply before opening it.

“The manager called, dude. Why aren’t you answering your phone?” Donghyuck’s face popped in his line of vision. He, unsurprisingly, looked and sounded worse than Renjun, being one of the few members of NCT 127 that enjoyed sleeping until late afternoon. His face was puffy, cheeks still with some sleeping marks, his hair all sticking in a bunch of different directions.

Renjun made a small noise in acknowledgement, stretching his arm to reach for his phone sitting in his bedside table. Donghyuck watched from the door, leaning heavily into it for support.

“Ah! No battery.” He showed the redhead his dark phone screen before hopping out of the bed to find his charger.

Donghyuck sighed. “Why does he always call me when you don’t answer? There’s 11 members, for fuck’s sake!”

As much as Renjun liked seeing Donghyuck whining, he understood how tiring it was to be dragged into his business all the time. He turned to his friend, his face turned into a grimace. “I’m sorry.” He finally put his cup down. “I’ve been trying to purposely ignore our manager for a while now but I didn’t think he’d turn to you.”

Donghyuck, always the easy going, nice friend, frowned at the tone of Renjun’s voice, knowing better than to ask just _why_ he’d been ignoring their superior. “I was joking, dude. You know I don’t mind it.” He walked up to him, ruffling his hair slightly, “He calls me ‘cause he knows I’m your bestest friend in the entire world!”

Renjun smiled, finding comfort in his best friend’s words, but slapped the uninvited hand away from his hair anyway. “Not true. He just uses me as an excuse to get you out of bed.” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out, but didn’t deny it. “Now get out of my room and sleep, you look dead.” He eyed the worn-out pajamas Donghyuck was wearing, recognizing them from Taeil’s wardrobe. He stifled a laugh, amused at Hyuck’s tendencies of stealing everyone’s stuff.

He pushed Hyuck out of his room, receiving moans all the way to the door. Before he could close it, the redhead used his foot to keep it open.

“Don’t forget to call the manager.” Renjun nodded, attempting to kick his friend’s foot out of its place. “And” Donghyuck flicked him on the forehead. “Let’s eat out together today?” He pouted and put his index fingers together cutely.

Renjun pretended to gag, but laughed anyway. “Sure. Dinner? Chinese?”

“Deal.” Donghyuck attempted to kiss him, immediately being met with a shriek and a light slap, which prompted him to finally leave Renjun to himself.

Renjun closed the door and looked back at his bed, sighing after spotting the slight dark color of his sheets from the spilt coffee. Doing the laundry was not on his plans for the day, and neither was calling his manager, but plans were supposed to be dynamic, he supposed.

He opened his drawer and withdrew his charger, linking it to his phone. Renjun sat down on his bed and sipped on his coffee, smiling in approval at the warm temperature while tapping on his phone screen, waiting for it to light up with battery. When it did, he spent the first few minutes navigating through twitter. He followed some artists on there, and looking at paintings in the morning made him feel motivated and generally happier.

Looking at his notification bar, he frowned at the 500 plus unread texts, most from the group chat with the rest of the NCT 127 members; some from his family back in China, and 3 from his manager:

‘ _The company wants you here today for a meeting._

_It’s about your solo._

_It starts at 3pm, do not be late.’_

the texts read, sent at around 8am.

Renjun took another sip of his coffee, raising his eyebrows at his phone. He had been the 5th member to make his solo debut around a year ago, rapidly gaining a lot of popularity and boosting NCT’s sales as well. It had been a huge success for everybody, which meant his company was now determined to make him work even harder on all his schedules.

_‘Sure. I’ll be there.’_

Renjun leaned back into the headboard of the bed, mentally planning what to cook for lunch so that he wouldn’t be late. He supposed something quick and simple was his forte so he had nothing to worry about.

Half an hour later, with an empty mug on one hand and his phone on the other, he strolled into the kitchen, greeting Taeyong with a small smile. The older member smiled back, and the two engaged in comfortable small talk for some time while Taeyong ate.

“Did Haechan wake you up? He told me the manager was looking for you.” The other said between bites.

“No-uh. I was already awake, my phone was just dead.” Taeyong hummed in understanding. “But I’m supposed to go to the company in like 2 hours, is anyone else going?”

“Pretty sure Mark is.”

Renjun mentally cheered. Mark was one of his best friends, but both were so busy with their personal schedules that sometimes communication further than greetings was practically impossible to achieve. He’d finally have the time to talk to him a little more.

“Nice. I’ll ask him to go together.”

“Please do, I don’t like you kids walking around alone with all those crazy people outside.” Taeyong looked at Renjun, concerned. “You’re taking your car, right?”

“Yep.” Renjun popped the ‘p’, silently agreeing with the ‘crazy people’ part. A good 99% of their fandom was lovely, but some of them liked to camp outside and disrespected their privacy all the time. Those were terrible, along with the years of fear and trauma they gave them from some of the things they managed to pull. One of the reasons why Renjun absolutely despised his company was the complete lack of giving a shit about all their artists.

“Good. Make sure to call me if something happens.”

Renjun immediately agreed, knowing how much their leader truly cared about all of them. After some time, Taeyong had to excuse himself and go get dressed, having planed an outing with someone from his trainee days, leaving Renjun on the table alone.

The Chinese boy was pretty sure most the other members were either sleeping or out, judging from how silent the house suddenly was. He could hear Donghyuck’s distinct snoring from his room and Johnny’s muffled English from the living room, but the rest of the place was so quiet it was kind of eerie. He grabbed his phone.

_‘you going to the company today?’_

_‘yep’_ Came Mark’s fast reply.

‘ _me2. make me company pwease?’_

‘ _haha sure dude. when do you gotta leave?’_

_‘hm 2.40pm sounds good to me. u?’_

_‘yep, ill meet u downstairs then’_

One look at the clock on the wall told Renjun it was 1.30pm, which gave him more than enough to prepare himself. He hummed a soft tune under his breath, walking around the kitchen opening cabinets, in search for something to cook with. Mark was probably eating out with someone, otherwise he’d be pestering Doyoung or Taeyong to cook for him.

After cooking and eating eggs, rice and some veggies, Renjun washed his dishes diligently before disappearing into his bedroom to get ready for the meeting. Since they were in the middle of February, he opted to choose a warm, white turtleneck, paired with his nicest jeans and a long beige overcoat. He styled his hair as nicely as he managed, washed his face and applied some light makeup, too lazy to do anything that would require more time. At exactly 2.35pm he was leaving the apartment, his car keys secured in his hand, the other arm wrapped tightly around a bag.

He waited for Mark in his car for a few minutes, parked in a little deserted place behind the building. It was an exceptionally cold day but it wasn’t raining, typical of South Korea. The frost clinged to the roads, making it hard to walk fast and steadily, and Renjun’s hands were practically frozen when he finally sat down on the car seat. He rubbed them together and turned on the heating, sighing in relief when he felt the warm air hit his face directly. He was sure his nose was tinged red from the cold and he probably looked like an idiot, shivering like a leaf, but he sort of loved weather like this, despite how miserable it made him feel. The sky always looked pretty on these days, cloudy and dyed grey, almost as if it was something out of a painting. The art lover in Renjun swooned over its beauty every time.

Before he could admire it some more, he spotted a breathless, running mess of limbs approaching his car quickly. Mark threw the door open in a hurry and sat down on the passenger seat with a sigh, his hot breath leaving a small cloud on the atmosphere.

“You could’ve fallen out there, running carelessly like that.” Renjun nagged while starting the car.

Mark groaned. “I was scared someone would follow me AND I was cold.”

“You do know you attract more attention speeding up in this weather, right?”

His friend rolled his eyes at him but giggled right after. “God, I’m dumb. Didn’t even think about that.”

“Figured.” The shorter male retorted, receiving a weak smack in response.

They spent the rest of the drive making small conversation. Mark confessed he’d started creating music of his own and was currently trying to convince the company to let him perform it, while Renjun mostly kept to himself, nodding and humming when appropriate.

It wasn’t that Renjun was jealous or unhappy about the news, quite the contrary actually, and he made sure to show that to his friend. It just felt really weird, knowing that he himself had spent countless hours bundled up in a studio, coming up with lyrics and chords just so they could be discarded by the staff. He knew he wasn’t untalented since he shared those songs with the older members all the time and received nothing but praise, so really, what was wrong with him? He knew whatever he said in today’s meeting would mean nothing to his superiors once again. He knew they’d just toss a R&B song his way and call it a day and that he should be happy about that, but he kind of just felt empty. Singing about something he didn’t care for just made him feel incredibly unmotivated to perform, and he knew it would probably show on his shows soon enough.

“I’m just happy they think I’ll be able to at least shot some videos for YouTube using my songs.” Mark smiled when they arrived at the company. “You can visit the studio today if you want, I want to show you my new song.”

“I will. As long as the meeting doesn’t take too long.” He pulled a face. Mark giggled.

“Is this about your new comeback?” Renjun nodded. “Don’t push yourself too hard, the team is having a comeback in a few months too.”

“I know, but this is a good opportunity for all of us.”

Mark stayed silent, but clasped his hand on his friend’s shoulder before getting out of the car. Renjun did too, and they made their way inside in silence before splitting up with a promise to spend more time together soon. Mark would be going to the practice room to dance and exercise for a bit before working on some song arrangements with Taeil’s help. Both places were in the ground floor, in the opposite direction of the meeting room.

Renjun took his phone out of his pocket. 2.56pm, it read. He made his way upstairs in a hurry, wanting to make a good impression on everyone who would be discussing his future career. Arriving a little earlier was always good. Soon enough he came face to face with a huge glass door. He opened it and immediately bowed down in greeting to whoever was already there. He spotted his manager, who got up and waved in his direction as soon as he saw him, and walked up to him.

“I saved you a seat. The Co-CEO will be arriving shortly.”

Renjun nodded, suddenly a little nervous. He was used to meeting with some higher people from the company, but never the CEO or Co-CEO, since they probably had their hands full dealing with all the paperwork. They had enough money to hire good professionals that would handle the rest of the work for them, especially when it came to artistic decisions. Renjun was sure nothing was approved without at least one of them going over it, but they only had the last say in the matter, never engaging in the process itself. Knowing the Co-CEO would personally meet up to discuss his solo career was both frightening and exciting.

Renjun sat down next to his manager, eyeing how the other’s leg kept shaking, probably due to stress. He mentally laughed. He was probably worried he’d say something wrong or fuck up the opportunity.

The door suddenly opened again, and a tall, young man entered, followed by two different people, all of them dressed in dark, expensive looking suits. Renjun noted with surprise how all of the staff inside the room got up, greeting him formally, and deduced he was the Co-CEO. He’d never have guessed someone so young would be one of the most respected people in the industry, but got past his shock quickly in order to bow respectfully.

The man gestured for all of them to sit down when he reached his seat, before smiling at Renjun slightly.

“Nice to meet you, Renjun. My name is Park Chanyeol and I’m the Co-CEO of the company. I’m sure we haven’t met before, I’m sorry it had to be done in these circumstances.”

He offered his outstretched hand, and the Chinese man gladly took it, once again admiring the man, his soft-spoken voice and seemingly nice persona.

“Nice to meet you, sir. I’m just glad I was able to meet you.”

If there was one thing Renjun was shit at doing was sucking up to people. The sentence came out quite awkwardly, but the man didn’t seem phased. They shook hands, and sat down once again.

The first part of the meeting went well, as they mostly talked about things Renjun didn’t understand much of. Sales, wins and graphs were presented, apparently filled with data from all of his solo and non-solo activities with the members. Park Chanyeol didn’t talk much, barely even looked at people. He asked a few questions sometimes, about the fan’s reactions on social media, how the Korean public took some of his songs and if there had been any problems regarding Renjun’s past comebacks and schedules. He glanced his way once in a while, but that was it. It managed to calm his nerves a little until the inevitable questions and the news regarding his new album were brought up.

“So, Renjun.” He started. “How do you feel about your solo career?”

His manager nudged him slightly, but otherwise kept quiet. “I’m extremely happy people seem to enjoy my solo music, sir.”

“And are you satisfied with it?”

Now, Renjun could lie and say yes, but was that what he wanted to do? No. He wanted people to enjoy the music he wrote, not something that was made especially to flatter his vocal tone and fanbase.

“I am, sir. I just hope in the future I will be able to participate more in the writing process.”

The Co-CEO seemed to ponder on that for a while, but didn’t say anything, only hummed. His manager glared at him from the side and the meeting proceeded. Some other questions about albums concepts, fashion and dance were brought up, but nothing that people wanted Renjun’s input on.

Renjun grew anxious as time passed on. Had he perhaps made the CEO angry with his comment? He thought he had been quite respectful, but you could never know with superiors, since they got annoyed over the little things all the time. No one talked to him for the remaining time, which only fueled his negative thoughts. They decided on a R&B concept once again, promising they’d start working on the songs as soon as possible, and everyone was dismissed. Renjun wanted to cry, even if he wasn’t surprised with the final decision.

“You’re a very talented individual, Huang Renjun. Don’t waste that.” Had been Park Chanyeol’s words. Somehow, they made him even angrier.

As the room was suddenly emptied out, only him and his manager remained. Renjun continued sat down on his chair picking his nails, a nervous habit of his.

“Next time, learn to shut your trap in front of your superiors.” His manager barked, clearly annoyed.

Renjun’s anger rose, but he tried to stay calm. “And why the hell would I do that? If no one’s willing to help me out, I’ll talk to him myself!”

“I don’t know what you don’t understand, Renjun.” He grabbed Renjun by the chin, forcing him to make eye contact with him. “If they thought you had talent for writing, they would had done something about it already.” He smiled. “Just accept the fact that you can’t do it. It hurts less that way, trust me.”

Renjun felt his eyes burn. Before he burst in tears in front of his manager, he slapped his hand away and grabbed his stuff.

“Don’t even bother contacting me for a few days. Leave me alone for a while.”

He managed to leave the building without shedding a single tear, but started sobbing as soon as he set foot in his car. He shoot Donghyuck a text, before shutting his phone off and starting his car.

He knew he was the stupid one for hoping for some sort of support, and maybe he was even overreacting, crying over something everyone had to go through, but he couldn’t help it. He was sad, and tired, _really_ tired. All he wanted was to go back to China and meet his old friends, do something stupid without worrying over the amount of articles that would be written about him in the morning. He wanted to be free again, be able to do whatever without having to beg to anyone to finally be able to do something _he_ wanted.

Renjun was starting to question just how much it was all worth it.

_“hey, turns out i cant eat out today lmao im sorru”_ read at 5.37pm

_“are you okay jun? its fine if you feel bad!”_ received at 5.40pm

_junnie?”_ received at 8.57pm

_renjun where the hell are you? eveyones worried pls answer my calls!”_ received at 00.48am

_renjun i swear i will beat your fucking ass when you come back”_ received at 5.23am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, sorry for the long wait!! ive been very busy with uni work and im gonna be drowing in stuff to do this month so sorry in advance!
> 
> anyways these first 4 chapters are gonna be quite slow since its the character introductions but i promise itll only get better from here on! hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> hi ! this is a new story that i'm beginning that i hope you will all enjoy :D tags will be added as i write the story but i will add warnings in the notes of each chapter if necessary. pls be aware that english is NOT my first language, but im trying my best here lmao if you have any questions regarding where this is going pls comment (thats very appreciated) and ill reply :3 anyways this wasnt a chapter, more like a preview, a way of setting the pace of the story. i am a busy uni student so updates will mosty likely come slowly. i do not have a schedule. if you read it this far, thanks ! and see you next time i guess ;)


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